Torkom Saraydarian (1917–1997)
from Sex, Family and the Woman in Society
It is an esoteric fact that waste of sexual energy burns certain parts of the mental mechanism. No one else can determine for you how often it is healthy for you to have sex; only the physical and psychological results reveal this to you.
Those engaged in higher creative work and abstract thinking must conserve sexual energy. They will then notice how creativity, understanding and higher inspiration are developing successfully. If sexual energy is saved or economically used, it helps to develop the personality.
Sexual energy is spread throughout the aura. It creates the magnetic mechanism which secures higher impressions. If this substance is weak, disturbed, or even absent, impressions are not correctly secured, and with incorrect reception, confused interpretation results.
I remember a person who came to my Teacher in the monastery and asked for help. “My mind is not together,” he said. “I am becoming lazy, diffused, forgetful and irritable. I have many problems.” The Teacher looked into his eyes and asked, “How many women do you love?” “Three,” he answered. “You need to stay in the monastery for six months to restore your brain,” the Teacher said.
The man stayed in the monastery after making arrangements to take care of his family. He attended classes and participated in sacred dances, sports and labour. The Teacher did not let him have a moment’s rest from 5:00 am until 10:00 pm. The results were amazing. He became a new man.
I remember the Teacher saying to him, “Excessive sex disturbs the rhythm and harmony of your mental atoms and you hallucinate instead of think. It even causes visual deceptions. The section of your mind that records events mixes the events of the past and present and you experience mental chaos. You develop hypocrisy an eventually you hate yourself.”
Intercourse is a process of fusion with a person of the opposite sex. This fusion is physical, emotional and mental. When you fuse with someone else, you share each other’s karma. One person’s karma becomes two people’s karma through sexual relations, which can be good or bad. That is why you must have sexual relations with only one partner so that you do not load yourself with the karma and pollution of many others. Sexual relations multiply our karma and sometimes make us indebted to the other person forever. Their karma ties us to them until we pay it.
The Teaching says it is best to have only one wife or husband. In this way a couple can gradually build real fusion or unity on all levels. This is the goal of marriage.
The average person is not able to be truly strict in his sexual behaviour. It is better for a person on the spiritual path who is dedicated to a great service to have fewer burdens and debts. We must not forget that advancement on the path and expansion of our field of service is in direct proportion to the degree of our karmic debt. Often people who are ready to enter higher levels of consciousness are prevented from doing so by past karma and are chained to a routine life.
Having multiple sexual partners increases your ties. Often these ties prevent you from having freedom to advance in service. Those who stay together for longer periods or even for many lives, evoke deeper beauty from each other. Those who are married and have affairs with others create serious complications in their families, especially in the lives of their children.
Those who want to go forwards on the path of spiritual evolution must be very discriminative in their sexual life. Sex is a powerful and precious energy which must not be wasted. Intercourse must be an effort to contact the highest within each other and to provide vehicles for incoming souls or for precipitating higher ideas and visions.
Masturbation is an abuse of sexual energy. Masturbation is very unhealthy for men, women and children. It creates a tremendous pressure in the grey matter of the brain; the pineal and pituitary glands are affected, and mental concentration is weakened.
If a person feels an urge to masturbate, an excellent remedy is to wash the sexual organs or to douche with acidophilus. Acidophilus stops sexual stimulation because it disinfects germs and microbes that create artificial sexual stimulation. Even children who want to masturbate should wash with acidophilus.
There is a great difference between intercourse and masturbation. In intercourse the man’s aura and the woman’s aura mix, and their etheric, emotional and mental counterparts slowly adjust with each other, filling the reservoir with the creative sexual energy used during intercourse. In masturbation, the reservoir of energies which creates and replenishes the sexual energy is not formed. In masturbation, one draws upon his reserves and wastes them. So much pressure is put on the grey matter of the brain from the depletion of energies brought about by masturbation that lack of concentration, lack of daring and creativity, and even insanity can result.
In healthy sexual intercourse, the man absorbs the woman’s energies and the woman absorbs the man’s energies. The energy which is absorbed replaces the secretions released during intercourse. That energy creates etheric energy which recharges the blood. In masturbation there is no exchange or absorption of energies; there is only loss. Furthermore, during masturbation a person creates sexual thoughtforms which are difficult to eliminate.
Another form of sexual abuse which is very harmful is oral sex. Oral sex destroys the aura’s equilibrium and harmonious vibration. If a woman gives fellatio to the man, it causes her to absorb the man’s energy without returning any. There is no etheric and astral exchange in this way.
In some medical books I have read that semen is a tremendous nourishment for women in oral sex. Women may benefit, but men eventually collapse. Men develop serious diseases when they lose energy without replenishment. One doctor cited the case of a man who became very nervous, lost weight, and eventually lost control of his mind because of oral sex.
Oral sex can be very dangerous for the woman, as her mouth absorbs any germs or disorders from the man’s physical organs and sex center. Also, because the throat center has a different, higher vibration than the sex center, it can become damaged from this incorrect merging. Men also absorb germs and damage their throat centers by engaging in oral sex.
Never let any man kiss your genitals or your breasts. Gum disease or decaying teeth carry infection to your organs or breasts. The breasts absorb germs and viruses from bleeding gums which weaken the woman and make her susceptible to disease. For similar reasons women should never let men touch them with unwashed hands during sexual relations.
Oral sex is a sign of retrogression, of going towards bestiality. It creates terrible interference between the throat and sex centers when they are forced into intercourse. In oral sex the throat center mixes with the etheric sex center and creates tremendous complications. Putting one’s throat center in contact with the sex center of another, lowers the frequency of the throat center and creative energy is lost.
In animals the throat and sex centers form a single unit, one not yet differentiated into two, as in the human being. This means that oral sex does not hurt animals while it does hurt human beings. The human throat center is the blooming of the sublimated sex center; it is the higher counterpart of the sex center.
A woman who practices oral sex pollutes her throat center with the low, coarse vibrations of the sex center, creating imbalance in her system. If a woman is highly advanced creatively, an artist or a singer, a year or two of oral sex may cause serious problems in her sexual organs. Most women I know who have had hysterectomies have practiced oral sex.
Oral sex alters the auras of both partners. The man becomes more feminine and the woman becomes more masculine. This happens because in oral sex the woman channels to the man the female principle and the man channels to the woman the male principle.
Certain ways of kissing are also very damaging. When you kiss by sucking each other’s tongue and the insides of the mouth, you infect yourself with microbes. All the germs and weaknesses of the body are carried in saliva. Some eye diseases stem from problems in the sexual organs. Through such kissing, blood diseases are also transmitted. Sometimes tuberculosis microbes are dormant in the organs and are transmitted to others and become active.
Men sometimes have intercourse but do not ejaculate as a method of birth control, or because they think they are saving their energies. This is a very harmful action. When a man’s penis is stimulated, the body creates excess seminal fluid to be used in the orgasm. When this fluid is not released, it accumulates and puts pressure on the testes and other glands. This accumulated pressure throws the whole body out of balance, causing the etheric counterpart of the sexual organs to swell etherically.
I spoke with several men who had their testes removed because of tumour or cancer, and all said they had practiced withholding ejaculation for a long time.
Some people think that a way to increase energy is to enjoy sex without orgasm. Such sex does not increase the etheric energy; on the contrary, the pressure on the sexual organs becomes so intense that after a few years those organs start to degenerate. Those who have intercourse without orgasm dig their own graves.
A certain group I knew experimented in this kind of sex. At first they felt very good. I told them to wait for two years before forming a conclusion. At the end of that period many of them had developed tumours and other sexual problems. Any abuse of Nature causes disease. We must learn not to exploit Nature.
Most weakness is not caused by lack of energy, but from excessive energy or congestion. We think we can fool Nature and draw pleasure from it without using energy, but we cannot fool Nature. If a man does not want to ejaculate, he should not become sexually stimulated.
Intercourse in the early morning is also very damaging. Many heart problems stem from early-morning intercourse. When you have sex in the morning your energy is exhausted, but you must get up and go to work, handle problems and deal with daily stress. Because you are exhausted you become irritated more easily.
If you have a headache in the morning after having intercourse the night before, it is a sign that something is wrong. There can be many causes for it, so you must find the right one. The headache could be caused by lack of energy. The sexual act is related to the liver, the heart, the brain, the spinal fluid and every chakra.
In the mental body there is also a sex center which is related to everything that you are. This center can be damaged in various ways and cause impotency or a feeling of sexual rejection. For example, if during intercourse you are shocked by bad news, an explosion or some kind of interference, this center closes up and is often damaged. If your partner creates jealousy, irritation, or disturbances in you by talking about other women or men while you are having sex, the sex center in the mental body becomes damaged. If the damage is serious enough, you first feel sexual repulsion; then you develop impotency or frigidity.
Many people now claim that it is healthy and natural for parents to have sex in front of their children. Such behaviour is very destructive for the children’s future. When a child watches his parents have intercourse, he does not become stimulated at that time because his sex center is closed and there is no response from it. But the image or thoughtform of sex is stored in his mind. Later, when the child’s sex center starts to become active, that sexual thoughtform will rush to the center, obsess it and urge him to have sex because of the image of his parents’ sexual intercourse. This happens anywhere between the ages of ten and fifteen and it is one of the causes of premature sexual stimulation in children. When such children become sexually mature, they feel so much pressure from the images accumulated in them that they are not able to control their sexual urges.
Rape is another form of sexual abuse. A man who rapes a woman is drinking a cup of poison. When a man forces a woman to have sex with him, her aura becomes poisonous for him. All the irritation, imperil, negativity, and karmic poisons in the aura of the woman enter the aura of the man. The rapist becomes even more sick mentally; he starts to fail in his business and he becomes a greater problem to society.
Sexual abuse has the following effects on the physical body:
- Sexual abuse causes the body to lose its immune system, its defence mechanism against disease. As soon as you see that you are absorbing germs, refrain from sex so that you can refill your reservoir.
- Sexual abuse weakens the nervous system and makes you shaky. Test whether you are having too much sex by stretching out your fingers and seeing if they tremble. Another test is to see whether you can stand on one foot without leaning, wobbling or moving at all.
- Sexual abuse makes people lazy and sleepy and leads to inertia. When people complain that they cannot find a job, I ask them how often they have sex. Once they abstain for three or four months, usually the right job is waiting for them. Whenever you want more sleep, it is usually because you lack energy. Sleep is the body’s automatic response mechanism to save energy. Tiredness is not always caused by waste of sexual energy, but wasting sexual energy is characterized by tiredness. Laziness is another effect of wasting sexual energy. When you conserve sexual energy, it is easy to wake up early, get chores done quickly, and do all the things you need to do. You have enthusiasm and interest, not only for your own activities, but also for your spouse, family and friends. Enthusiasm and interest are operated solely on the fuel of sexual energy. If you do not have the fuel of sexual energy, you are an interesting or an interested person.
- With sexual abuse the colour of the body becomes pale and the tissue around the eyes becomes dark; the voice becomes hoarse, lower and unclear, and it loses its energy. Singers immediately notice the effects of sexual abuse. I knew a great voice teacher in the Middle East who had a special soprano student with an outstanding voice. One day the student told the teacher she was going to be married. The teacher told her, “I hope you will be moderate in sex because if you are not, you may lose your voice.” The woman married a young man, did not follow her teacher’s advice, and gradually lost the outstanding quality of her voice. Singing is related to the sex and throat centers. To be a great singer does not mean that you can never have sex, however, you cannot waste your energy and continue to be a great singer.
- Sexual abuse leads to impotency at an early age. I have counselled thousands of people and most of their problems stem from impotency and frigidity. These are two of the major causes for divorce. Usually when I inquire into the background of such people, I find that they started having sex when very young. Every real genius and server of humanity has control over and sublimation of his sex drive. A well-known Russian ballet dancer once told me that he had sex with his wife only once a month or once every two months. “It’s because I can’t dance if I have it more often,” he said. The energy and the elasticity for dancing come from the accumulation of sexual energy.
- Because of sexual abuse, weaknesses develop in our relationships with others. Those who can live together the longest are those who economize their sexual energy. The ties of relationships slowly weaken and dissolve when sexual energy is wasted.
- A person who abuses sex may have weak or retarded offspring, or offspring who have a strong inclination toward sex at an early age. Whatever you are, you will produce the same kind. Such energies are so embedded in your aura that you will pass these same urges and drives on to your children. A normal child does not even think about sex until age sixteen or seventeen.
- Sexual abuse leads to sickness and problems in life.
- If a person’s body is still growing when he starts to abuse his sexual energy, his body will not reach its full height. A child who abuses sexual energy will often stop growing after age sixteen. This is a very serious condition, when we consider that normally a young woman can grow until age twenty-seven.
- Sexual abuse weakens the eyesight.
- Sexual abuse weakens the heart and may lead the person to heart disease.
- Sexual abuse may lead to cancer. The cells of the body work overtime to replace the energy drained by sexual abuse.
- Sexual abuse may lead to various others organic difficulties.
- Those who abuse their sexual energy live twenty to thirty years less than they normally would have. I know may men who died young, in their thirties and forties, as a result of wasting sexual energy, particularly through masturbation.
- Sexual abuse damages the pineal, pituitary and carotid glands.
The emotional effects of sexual abuse are:
- The urge to gossip
- Indifference to responsibility and duties
- Desire to steal and an inclination toward crime
- A sense of isolation and wanting to be alone
- Hatred for the beauty in others
- Loss of magnetism of the aura
The mental effects of sexual abuse are:
- Loss of moral principles
- No drive for achievement
- Lack of striving to know, to serve, to lead
- Mental diffusion
- No higher goals
- No contact with the Inner Guide
- Attempting to exploit people
- Misleading others
- Development of hatred and separatism
- Showing off
- Various complicated mental problems and insanity coming to the surface
The spiritual effects of sexual abuse include the following:
- The person is prevented from contacting higher spiritual energies. Celibacy is important before expansion of consciousness and initiations.
- The knowledge petals lose energy and cannot unfold. As a result, wisdom is lacking on the three levels of the personality and the person falls into confusion. (The knowledge petals are found in each personality vehicle as a reservoir of knowledge and wisdom). When these petals are burned by sexual abuse, the person hears voices from the etheric and astral planes and no longer has control over his own speech.
- The person can become obsessed.
- The throat center becomes damaged.
- Creative energy decreases in the mental body and the person cannot formulate or evoke higher concepts.
- Ugly imagination develops.
- The aura becomes polluted and contact with the forces of Nature is hindered. The aura is the mechanism of impressions. Only a pure aura is magnetic enough to allow the person to be approached by devas or Masters.
- Telepathic communication stops.
- Karma drastically increases for the person.
- Relationships become very complicated.
- Their children’s future is ruined.
When a person wastes sexual energy, he depletes love energy. This leads to depression, failure, destructive activities, irresponsibility, degenerative diseases, and even suicide. With a mind bereft of health, sanity and balance, the person introduces anti-survival directions into the seven fields of human endeavour. Politics becomes corrupted. Education is reduced to manipulation. Communication becomes a science of cleavages. Art falls into prostitution. Religion turns into fanaticism. Economics creates deficits and depression.
Also on this site by Torkom Saraydarian: "Obsession and Possession"