The sexual orgasm is very momentary,
and whatsoever is momentary brings frustration in its wake, brings misery and unhappiness and sadness and repentance. But the quality of being orgasmic can become a continuity in you, a continuum — it can become your very flavor. But it is possible only through meditation, not through sex.
Q: Why am I Tired of Sex?
Osho: Sex is tiring, and that's why I say to you: don't avoid it. Unless you know its stupidity you will not be able to get rid of it. Unless you know its sheer wastage, you will not be able to transcend it. It is good that you have started feeling tired — that is natural.
Sex simply means energy being dissipated downwards. The energy has to move upwards, then it is nourishing. Then it opens inexhaustible treasures in you — aes dhammo sanantano. [This is the ultimate law of life.] But if you go on and on into sex like a maniac, soon you will find yourself utterly exhausted, wasted. What is the point of remaining in it if you are feeling tired? Get out of it!
And I am not saying repress it. When you are feeling much energy for it and you try to get out, there will be repression. But when you are exhausted and tired and you see the futility of it, you can come out of it without repression. And to come out of sex without repression is to be free of it. Freedom from sex is a great experience. Freedom from sex makes your energies available for meditation, for samadhi.
Yes, it has to be transcended one day.
Because this is also a duality — man/woman — the same duality as between positive and negative, birth and death, summer and winter. It has to be transcended. One has to come to a point from where nothing disturbs your coolness, nothing distracts you from your center. But the way to come to it is not repression.
The first step is acceptance: it is natural. Accept it as part of your nature, as part of your biology. And then try to understand it, watch it, observe it, witness it. Slowly slowly, as your witnessing will grow, you will go beyond it. One day you will not find any difference between a man and a woman: you have gone beyond sexuality. That is true Brahmacharya, true celibacy, but it is not what has been told to you.
When one becomes pure —
through nonviolence, nonpossessiveness, authenticity — when one becomes more and more pure, the focus of consciousness shifts from the body to the being. The being can remain absolutely alone.
The body needs togetherness; and your innermost soul needs aloneness. That is the problem. Your innermost soul can remain alone: it is a Himalayan peak standing alone against the sky. Your innermost soul grows when it is alone, but your body needs relatedness.
The body needs crowds, warmth, clubs, societies, organizations. Whenever you are with many people the body feels good. In a crowd your soul may feel starved because it feeds on aloneness, but your body feels good. In aloneness your soul feels perfect, but the body starts feeling hungry for relationship. But when somebody has attained to aloneness and the focus of consciousness has changed — that's what yoga is all about: how to change the focus from the body to the soul, from matter to nonmatter, from the visible to the invisible, from the known to the unknown, from the world to God.
However you phrase it is immaterial. It is a change of focus. When the focus has completely changed, the yogi is so happy in his aloneness, so blissful, that that ordinary hankering of the body to be with others by and by disappears. When the purity is attained there arises in the yogi a disillusionment for his own body: now he knows that the paradise that he has been seeking cannot be attained through the body, the bliss that he has been dreaming about is not possible through the body.
It is impossible for the body: through the limited you are trying to reach the unlimited. Through matter you are trying to reach the eternal, the immortal. Nothing is wrong in the body: your effort is absurd. don't be angry with the body; the body has not done anything to you. It is just as if someone is trying to listen through the eyes — now nothing is wrong with the eyes: eyes are made to see, not to listen.
The body is made of matter; it is not made of the immaterial. It is made of death. It cannot be immortal. You are asking the impossible. don't ask that. That is the point of disillusionment: the yogi simply understands what is possible and what is not possible with the body. That which is possible is okay; that which is not possible he does not ask. He is not angry. He doesn't hate the body. He takes every care of it because the body can become a ladder; it can become a door, It cannot become the goal, but it can become the door.
A disillusionment for his own body — and when this disillusionment happens: "a disinclination to come in physical contact with others." Then the need to be in physical contact with others, by and by, withers away. In fact this is the right moment when you can say the man has come out of the womb, not before it.
In a yogi this urge to be in relationships disappears — and with this urge, he is really born. We in India have called him "twice-born," dwij. This is his second birth, the real birth. Now he is no longer in need of anybody; he has become a transcendental light. Now he can float above the earth; now he can fly in the sky. He is not earth-rooted now. He has become a flower — not a flower, because even a flower is earth-rooted — he has become the fragrance of the flower. Completely free. Moves into the sky with no roots in the earth. His desire to come in contact with others' bodies disappears.
Going beyond sex is a tremendously beautiful experience of freedom.
Freedom from the body, freedom from that continuous obsession. When sex really disappears, without any repression, when it disappears through meditation, for the first time it gives you the taste of total freedom. You don't need anybody any more; you are out of the grip of biology. In fact when sex has disappeared you become a man for the first time, because with sex you remain part of the animal world.
The increase in sexual power and the opening of the kundalini passage are simultaneous —
Not the same, but simultaneous. The increase in sexual power will be the thrust to open up the higher centers; so sexual power will increase. If you can be aware of it and not use it sexually — if you do not allow it to be released sexually — it will become so intense that the upward movement will begin.
First the energy will try its best to be released sexually, because that is its usual outlet, its usual center. So one must first be aware of one's downward "doors." Only awareness will close them; only noncooperation will close them.
Sex is not so forceful as we feel it to be. It is forceful only momentarily: it is not a twenty-four-hour affair, it is a momentary challenge. If you can be noncooperative and aware, it goes. And you will feel more happiness than when sexual energy is released from the downward passage.
Conservation of energy is always blissful: wastage of energy is only a relief, it is not blissful. You have unburdened yourself; you have alleviated something that was troubling you. Now you have become unburdened, but you have also become emptied. The feeling of emptiness that is overtaking the whole Western mind is just because of sexual wastage. Life seems to be empty. Life is never empty, but it seems to be empty because you have been simply unburdening yourself, just relieving yourself.
If something is conserved it becomes a richness: if your upward door is open and energy goes upward, not only do you feel relieved, not only is the straining point relieved, but it is not vacant. In a way it is fulfilled; it is overflowing. The energy has gone upward, but the basic center has not become empty. It is overflowing, and the overflowing energy goes upward, up toward the brahma randhra. 
[1. "The cave of Brahma". It is a hole in the crown of the head.]
Then, near the brahma randhra, there is neither an upward movement nor a downward movement. Now the energy goes to the cosmic: it goes to the all; it goes to the brahman — the ultimate reality. That is why the seventh chakra is known as the brahma randhra — the door to the brahman, the door to the divine. Then there is no "up" and no "down." It will feel like something is penetrating, thrusting upward — and a moment will come when one will feel as though that something is no longer there, that it has gone. Now it is overflowing into the passage.
The petals of the sahasrar are just a symbol for the feelings that occur when energy overflows. The overflowing is a flowering, just like a flower itself is an overflowing. You will feel that something has become a flower; the door is open, and it will go outward. It will not be felt inwardly; it will be felt outwardly. Something has opened like a flower, like a flower with a thousand petals.
It is just a feeling, but the feeling corresponds to the truth. The feeling is a translation and interpretation. The mind cannot conceive of it, but the feeling is just like a flowering. The closest, the nearest thing that we can say is that it is like a bud opening. It is felt like that. That is why we have conceived of the opening of the sahasrar as a thousand-petaled lotus. So many petals — so many! And they go on opening, they go on opening... the opening is endless.
It is a fulfillment; it is a flowering of the human being. Then you become just like a tree, and everything that was in you has flowered. Then all you can do is to offer this flower to the divine. We have been offering flowers, but they are broken flowers. Only this flower can be a real offering.
Energy has been going downward through the sex center continuously for many births,
so when any energy is created it will first try to move downward. That is why meditation sometimes will create more sexuality in you than you have ever felt before. You will feel more sexual because you have generated more energy than you previously had.
When you have conserved something, the old, habitual passage is ready to release it. The mechanism is ready, the old passage is ready. Your mind only knows one passage — the lower one, the sexual passage — so when you are meditating the first movement of your life energy will be downward. Just be aware of it. Do not struggle with it; just be aware of it. Be aware of the habitual passage, be aware of sexual images; let them come. Be aware of them, but do not do anything about the situation; just be aware of it.
The sexual passage cannot operate without your cooperation, but if you cooperate with it even for a single moment, it can start functioning. So do not cooperate with it: just be aware of it. The mechanism of sex is so much a momentary phenomenon that it only functions momentarily; if you do not cooperate at the right moment, it stops. At the right moment your cooperation is needed, otherwise it cannot work. It is only a momentary mechanism, and if you do not cooperate with it, it will stop by itself.
Time and time again, energy is created through meditation. It continues to move downward, but now you are aware of it. The old passage is cut — not suppressed. Energy is there and it needs to be released, but the lower door is closed: not suppressed — closed. You have not cooperated with it, that's all. You have not positively suppressed it, you have only negatively not cooperated with it.
You have just been aware of what is happening to your mind, to your body. You are just aware; then energy is conserved. Then the quantity of the energy becomes more and more intense and an upward thrust becomes necessary. Now the energy will go upward; by its very force, a new passage will be thrown open.
When energy goes upward you will be more sexually attractive to others, because life energy going upward creates a great magnetic force. You will become more sexually attractive to others, so you will have to be aware of this. Now you will attract persons unknowingly, and the attraction will not only be physical; the attraction will be etheric.
Even a repulsive body, a nonattractive body, will become attractive with yoga. The attraction is etheric; and it is so magnetic that one has to be constantly aware of it, constantly aware. You will be attractive and the opposite sex will be irresistably drawn to you.
There are subtle vibrations that are created by your etheric body: you have to be aware of them. The type of attraction that will be felt by the opposite sex will differ — it will take so many different forms — but basically it will be sexual. At its root, it will be sexual. But you can help these people. Even if they are attracted to you sexually, they have become attracted to a sexual energy that is moving upward. And they too are not ordinary sexual beings: upwardmoving sexual energy has become an attraction, a magnet. So you can help them; if you do not become involved, then you can help them.
In sex, meditation happens.
A moment comes when you are reaching the climax, a moment comes just before ejaculation or orgasm when mind stops. You become pure energy, bioenergy, just a stream of energy, no-mind. No-mind is meditation. But if you become stuck just in sexual meditation you will not grow.
Nothing is wrong in it, but you have to grow beyond it because this sexual meditation depends on the other, and anything that depends on the other cannot make you ultimately free; you will remain dependent. Right meditation means a moment where mind ceases, you have become one energy — but not moving towards the other, not moving in any direction, but simply remaining in yourself. That will become samadhi. Meditation moving towards the other becomes a sexual act; meditation moving nowhere, remaining inside, becomes samadhi.
Since every male has a female body within him ...
... and every female has a male body within her, if by coincidence a woman gets a husband who is identical with the male body within her, or if a man marries a woman who is identical with the female body within him, then only is a marriage successful; otherwise not.
This is why ninety-nine percent of marriages are failures: because the intrinsic rule of success is not known yet. As long as we are unable to ascertain the right alliance between the respective energy bodies of two persons, marriages are bound to remain a failure no matter what steps we take in other directions. Successful marriages can only be possible if absolutely clear scientific details concerning these various inner bodies are achieved.
A boy or a girl who has reached up to the point of the awakening of the kundalini finds it very easy to choose the right partner in life. With the full knowledge of all his bodies within, one can make the right choice outwardly. Prior to this it is very difficult. Therefore, those who knew insisted that the child should be made to develop his first four bodies in the first twenty-five years by maintaining brahmacharya, and then only could he marry. Because whom should he marry? With whom does he want to spend the rest of his life? Whom is he seeking?
What man does a woman seek? She seeks the man within her. If by coincidence the right connections are made, then both the man and woman are satisfied; otherwise, dissatisfaction remains and a thousand perversions result from this. The man then goes to a prostitute or seeks the woman next door. His distress grows day by day, and this misery is bound to increase with the growth of man's intellect.
Love is the happiness of the other —
Sex is happiness of your own; the other has to be used. In love the other's happiness has become even more significant than your own. Lovers are each other's servants, sex partners are each other's exploiters.
Sex is horizontal.
When you are totally aware, sex becomes vertical. And that vertical movement of sex is kundalini. If sex moves horizontally, then you go on reproducing others and reproducing yourself. If the energy begins to move upward, vertically, you just go out — out of the wheel of Existence, as the Buddhists say, out of the wheel of life. This is a new birth — not in a new body, but in a new dimension of existence. This Buddhists have called Nirvana. You can call it Moksha — liberation — or whatsoever you like to call it.
Buddha is not lacking anything.
Rather, on the contrary, something new has come to his life. It is not that he has no sex hormones. They are there. So what has happened to him? His consciousness has deepened, and his consciousness has entered even into the sex cells. Then the sex cells are there, but they cannot behave independently. Unless the center orders them to act, they cannot act. They will remain inactive. In an impotent person sex cells are not. In a Buddha they are there and more strong than in an ordinary person — stronger, because never used. Energy is accumulated in them, they are bubbling with energy, but consciousness has penetrated into the cells now. Now the consciousness is not only a starting point, it has become the master.
If you become conscious, you will lose your sexual desire and lust.
If you become conscious, then there will be no sexual desire inside.
It happens, when you are on a fast, that your sex desire will die,
because now a more foundational thing is at stake. Food is for your survival, sex is for the survival of your race. It is a distant phenomenon, not related with you. Sex is food for the race, not for you. You will die, but through sex humanity can live. So it is not really your problem; it is a racial problem. You can even leave it, but you cannot leave food because that is your problem. It is concerned with you. So if you go on a fast, by and by sex will disappear; it will become more and more distant.
Any time natural instinct is transcended, you grow.
You have made a volitional decision, so your being will grow and you will acquire an essence.
This process is alchemical.
Observe anger, and anger is transformed into light; observe sex, and sex is transformed into light. Observe any inner phenomenon which creates heat. Observe it, and through observation it becomes light. If your every heat-phenomenon is transformed into light, you will come to feel the inner moon. When there is no heat left, then you have accumulated the nectar of the full moon. Through this nectar you become immortal. Not in this body, not with this body: you become immortal because you transcend life and death both. Then you are naivedhya: then you are a food offering to the Divine — to the Total.
Unconsciousness is such a drug; consciousness is such an effort.
When you learn something, you have to be conscious every moment. That consciousness is felt as a strain. It is not, but because we are always behaving in a mechanical way, it seems to be. The person who is thinking in terms of spirituality must think in terms of awareness — more and more awareness. Awareness comes only when you go on facing new factors.
Sex is there. Do not fight it; try to understand it.
But we are fighting with ourselves. Either we are identified with the mind or we are fighting with the mind. In both the cases we are the losers. If you are identified, then you will indulge in anger, in sex, in greed, in jealousy. If you are fighting, then you will create anti-attitudes. Then you will create inner divisions, polarities. And you will be divided; no one else, because the anger is your anger.
Now if you fight it, you will have double anger — anger plus this angriness against anger — and you will be divided. You can go on fighting, but this fight is just absurd. It is as if I am trying to fight my right hand with my left hand. I can go on fighting. Sometimes my right hand will win, sometimes my left hand will win, but there is no victory. You can play with the game, but there is neither defeat nor victory.
If you are really aware, you will transcend.
Awareness is not a method for transcendence. Awareness IS transcendence. This constant awareness of your mind dissolves your greed, your anger, your sex, your hate, your jealousy, by and by. They dissolve automatically. There is no effort to dissolve them, not even any intention to dissolve them, not any longing to dissolve them. They are there, so rather than an intention to dissolve them, acceptance is more helpful.
Think of sex, and mind is absorbed.
No need to concentrate — it concentrates. No need to make any effort — mind flows easily. Really, we don't know anything else except sex by which we can understand what concentration means. So it happens always that whenever a person can concentrate on any other thing, sex will not be a problem for him — whenever! Even if he is just a scientist, a research-worker, working in his lab, if he can concentrate on his work then sex will not be a problem in his life at all.
But if you cannot concentrate on anything else, then your mind will be flowing through the channel of sex constantly. One thing must be understood: when you are thinking about sex, you are totally absorbed. There is no wavering. You even forget that you are thinking about sex — you may remember afterwards. Even this much wavering is not there. You forget that you are different and that this procession of sexual thoughts and images is different. You become one with them.
This is what is meant when bhaktas say, "The constant remembering of the Divine — without you, without 'I'."
The same phenomenon occurs, only the object changes. It is not sex now; the object becomes Divine. And unless the Divine becomes as absorbing as sex is naturally, you cannot flow upward. So the upward flow is an effort: you have to pull yourself together for it.
The downward flow is easy. That's why, whenever you feel tense, sex becomes a relaxation, a relief — because every tension means that you have been pulling yourself together towards something which is not natural. Then if you can relax to the downward flow, you will feel a relief. So in the West particularly, sex has become just a relief — just a relief from tensions. It is, and it is because when you flow downward no effort is needed. So sex is used by many, really by ninety-nine percent of people, as a tranquillizer.
If you move in sex then you can sleep well. Why? Because when the mind is flowing downward your whole body is relaxed. Unless you are relaxed in the same way when your mind is going upward, you are not a religious person at all.